"a piece of us was taken..."

This blog is going to be about my husband and his feelings about our journey.

If anyone knows my husband James, he is the most loving, caring and sweetest man. He always has a big smile on his face and always happy. He was the best daddy during the 9 weeks we were pregnant. He would take a photo every week, rub my belly & give my belly a kiss every night. Now, he is a daddy to our angel and will one day be such a great daddy to our rainbow baby.

I wanted to share his side of this journey, I think it's important to share his feelings as well. First off I asked him how he felt about everything.

James:

It is a tiring journey, it takes a lot of energy to stay positive but we have to stay focused on our goals. It's hard seeing everyone's pregnancy announcements, although we are really happy for them but part of us hurts because every month is another negative test. It is crazy how up and down emotions can be over things.

I then asked him about his feelings after losing our baby. He said " I felt like a piece of me, a piece of my heart and a piece of us was taken. I hurt in a way I never felt and never imagined and can barely describe. I hurt emotionally, mentally and physically even though that probably doesn't make any sense."

I had a doctor's appointment with my new "family" nurse practitioner last week and it went amazing. I will be sharing about the changes and plan in my next blog but it's exciting and positive.

James said "I am feeling very positive, happy and good about how things are going now. It took a long time to get back to 100% positive, it was a long time of forcing positivity."

Yesterday, I took James out to a snow covered trail and took some portraits of him. Every photo he has such a big, radiant smile. I wanted to catch a bit of emotion to post with this blog, so I asked him to think of baby Peake..our angel.

This is the result. Some hurt in his eyes, but a lot of love for our angel baby.