Growing up, I heard all the time people saying "when are you going to have kids?" and that seemed to be a natural question that came after people got married. It wasn't until I started learning about infertility and being diagnosed myself that I learned that is the most awful thing to ask someone.
Bad fertility advice comes with the territory of battling it. Many people don't understand infertility, PCOS, among other diagnosis. Here are some "advice" I have received in the last 5 years.
"Just relax, it will happen"
"Don't stress about trying to get pregnant and it will happen"
"Adopt and then it will happen"
"You are trying to hard, just have fun"
"Just do IVF already ".
None of the above advice is helpful but it is hurtful. Relaxing will not cure my infertility diagnosis. Infertility is a diagnosis that requires medical intervention in order to achieve a healthy pregnancy.
I am very open about my journey/story because it might help someone and It is very therapeutic for me to talk about it. Infertility can play a huge role on anxiety, depression and mental health. I have days where I cry for hours like today. Today marked 2 years to the day that we found out we were pregnant. It's a date I'll never forget.
Here are some supportive comments you can use for people going through infertility:
"I'm sorry you're going through this"
"How can I best support you"
"Is there anything I can do for you"
"This is so unfair, I'm so sorry"
"This must be hard, you are so strong".
If you have a friend/family member or know someone going through this infertility journey, reach out even if It is just to say hello or tell them you are thinking about them.
It means the world to me when my family and friends reach out to me, to send positive vibes, to tell me they are thinking about me or just to send love. It always comes at the very time I need the support.
October is Pregnancy, Infant and Child Loss Awareness Month, I will be sharing a few blogs this month and I'm working on a little project to share with people going through this journey! Stay tuned.